Letting Her Influence You


Whenever we’re at McDonald’s, Rachel would always eat her fries before her burger, and me, I’d eat my burger first and finish off with the fries. Her reasoning is that you need to eat the fries when it’s still piping hot, if not once it’s cold, it tastes like cardboard. Makes sense, but not enough for me to want to change the way I eat.

Life has a way of playing out though. I was having dinner by myself earlier this evening and decided to buy a McDonald’s meal. When I got my food, the first thing I reached out for was… a french fry. And when I started eating it, I thought to myself, “Hey wait, I’m supposed to eat the burger first.”

I ended up finishing off my fries first. A small lesson, but a lesson nonetheless, on letting your partner influence you. It’s not lost on me that it’s. just. bloody. french. fries. But that’s besides the point. I read something by John Gottman once that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce. I love John Gottman. Both of us read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and we loved it. For a time, I kept quoting that book to my own testosterone-fuelled friends.

I digress. Well, this is but one story out of many. The point is, letting your partner influence you isn’t as easy as it sounds (actually, it doesn’t sound easy haha), but I’ve been keeping it at, reminding myself that it’s a way for us to be more attuned to each other, to be more emotionally intelligent, and of course, a means of reciprocation. Especially right now when we’re knee-deep in wedding planning/house planning/honeymoon planning. The last thing you’d want to do is turn away from each other.

But sometimes, that’s the first thing you want to do. That’s okay.

The important thing is that you come back. And you keep coming back. And you keep turning towards each other (principle #3). I’ve got a long way to go, but I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.


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